Eurgh; that just about sums it up really.
I was diagnosed in February with psoriatic arthritis after months of problems with my foot. It’s a long story really, but here goes. Well done if you make it to the end!!
In May last year, I woke up with a swollen foot. I just assumed I’d gone over on it or something without realising, (I’m clumsy so that wouldn’t be unheard of!). I went to the doctors after a couple of weeks of it not improving and basically got told there was nothing wrong. I went back again after another 2 weeks as there was no improvement and was put on some antibiotics in case I had an infection of some sort. Obviously there was no improvement so I went to the walk in centre where they x-rayed it. He couldn’t be sure what was wrong so sent me off to the fracture clinic at the local hospital. They didn’t know what was wrong either but said it wasn’t broken and referred me for physio.
I went to physio for a good few weeks, my foot was still not getting better but I was managing to walk okay. After one physio session in July my foot was particularly painful and I could barely walk. They didn’t really know what was wrong so referred me back to the fracture clinic… here we go again! I went to the fracture clinic in August and they x-rayed my foot again. This time is apparently was broken (!!) and told me to cancel my honeymoon so they could put my foot in a cast. I cried. Is this some kind of sick joke?! I refused to do such a thing so they put a removable cast on so I could still fly. Our honeymoon was to Florida – Disney and Universal. We were going to be walking loads but I wouldn’t let this stop us having an amazing time.
I went back to the fracture clinic in September after my holiday so they could x-ray it again. Guess what – it’s not broken. Bloody good job I didn’t cancel my honeymoon! I was so angry. I’d spent all of my honeymoon in pain, worrying about walking on my broken foot that wasn’t even broken in the first place! At the end of the month, I twisted my knee but it failed to heal. I was in a lot of pain and couldn’t straighten my leg.
In October, I had an MRI scan which didn’t really show much; there was nothing conclusive. I was told it could be arthritis though so I was finally referred to a rheumatologist. I waited for 2 months but there was no letter. During these 2 months, I started getting pain in my elbows and now I was in pain with both my feet. A sharp pain through the centre of my left foot and both ankles were swollen. I felt like I was falling to pieces.
By Christmas time, I was so fed up with the pain that my husband and I decided we would pay to go privately to see the doctor. Thankfully, his parents paid for the cost of the appointment and I am so grateful to them. I don’t know how much longer I could have waited. I was depressed. I cried nearly every day and the thought of getting out of bed was so hard. At 26 I just wanted to know why I couldn’t do the simple things I should be able to do.
At the appointment, the rheumatologist said that he thought I had psoriatic arthritis as it runs in my family. He put me on naproxen for the pain and sorted out me having a steroid injection. After a few weeks, the swelling started to go down in my ankles.
I had another appointment with the rheumatologist in February where he confirmed it was psoriatic arthritis and put me on sulfasalazine. Although I don’t actually have psoriasis, my Grandad has it and the arthritis so it seemed to make sense. I started with 1 a day and worked up to 4 a day. I felt so much better even after just a week of taking the tablets. I got better and better and finally in April, I thought I was getting somewhere. I could run up and down the stairs! We booked a few days away and it was like ‘normal’. We walked loads and I even managed to wear heels. The day after we got back, I came back to Earth with a massive bump. I couldn’t walk. It was back. I was having a ‘flare up’ and my god was it hard. I was in so much pain. It was so much worse than it had ever been and it was as though I wasn’t any tablets at all. I took a few days of work but felt I had to go back. I’ve been managing ever since.
The last few weeks I have seen a slight improvement. I’ve been back to the rheumatologist and am going on some ‘biologics’. They have worked wonders for people suffering with psoriasis so I’ve high hopes for them working on my arthritis too.
Throughout this whole sorry saga, I have relied very heavily on my husband for support. I have been constantly tired, always crying and struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He has been my rock and I know for sure I couldn’t have done it without him. He will do literally anything for me; whether that’s making me a cup of tea or washing my hair because my elbows are too painful for me to manage it. I appreciate everything he does for me and wish there was a way I could repay him. I know some might think that he’s my husband and he said in his vows ‘in sickness and in health’ but I’m only 26 and this is not what he signed up for! This is not how our first year of marriage should have been.
I go to work and portray myself to be happy and confident and pain free. I don’t want people to see my arthritis before they see me. I’m still the same person inside as I was before the diagnosis and this arthritis doesn’t define me. I will not let this PsA beat me. I will keep searching until I find something to lessen the pain and get me back to being myself again, out and about and enjoying life. Even though the constant pain is difficult, I know there are people out there who are worse off than me. I’ve just got to keep plodding on because what other choice do I have? My advice for anyone else out there is if you think there is something wrong, don’t give up. Keep going back to the doctors, keep pestering them and don’t let them fob you off!
Your health is THE most important thing.
Rory's Wife 